sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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