Please, let me fuck your mom
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
