sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
