I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
