she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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