So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
