you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
