One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
