So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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