Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Ketchup is God's man juice
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
