FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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