Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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