Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
where am i from again
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
