sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
