i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
