why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
