Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
