for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
