Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
