Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
