so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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