you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You were trust falling into bushes
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
