Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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