STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize