I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
