i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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