They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
