Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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