saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
40s are totally the cure
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize