just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
