Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
