I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
