you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
