Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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