yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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