I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
