Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
