Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
