he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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