So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
