oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
