"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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