as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
