Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
