Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
