bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Randomize
