I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
