if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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