I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
