She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
