My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
