So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
