I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
