no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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