so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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