Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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