he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
