Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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