I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
