It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
