I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
