Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm just crazy horny about you
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
