I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
