The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
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