Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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